


Shatter

by shouales



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Missing Scene, Survivor Guilt, not really but just to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22412431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouales/pseuds/shouales
Summary: What if Bill had managed to crack the glass when attempting to save Dean?a character study
Relationships: Bill Denbrough & Georgie Denbrough
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Shatter

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first posted work so be gentle! if you see any mistakes please point them out to me, thank u!

Going after the kid wasn’t even something Bill had to think about doing, he just did it. Yeah, maybe he should have said something to the rest of the Losers but between being more prepared and being faster he would always pick the latter. Bill knew how quickly IT could kill, how fast someone you loved could be taken from you. He knew very well.

So when Bill finally gets to the carnival and finds the boy inside the funhouse, he’s relieved. Maybe this is finally his chance to redeem himself, to make up for not being fast enough for Georgie and for being a bad brother. But there’s glass between him and the kid, and IT is standing at the other end.

IT taunts him by licking the glass and as Bill watches, he can’t help but tear up. He thinks about his brother, his loving and innocent little brother who just wanted to play with him. Georgie, who adored Bill with everything he had. Bill had taken advantage of that when he was a kid, hadn’t appreciated Georgie like he deserved. 

Bill wished he had been taken instead of Georgie. If he had, he thinks things may have turned out better. His parents wouldn’t have ignored Georgie like they did Bill. Georgie was the baby- they would have gotten over Bill’s death much sooner than they had Georgie’s , Bill thinks. Maybe if Bill who was older and much bigger than his little brother had been taken, IT would have gotten full much faster. His friends wouldn’t have gotten tied up in all this mess and Stan wouldn’t be dead 27 years down the line.

“Please,” Bill begs, tears threatening to spill over as he thinks about all the things he wishes he could change. IT smiles at him, and Bill’s voice cracks on his words. “I’m here this time, just take me.” 

IT bangs its head against the glass, and the boy, Dean, flinches.

“You son of a bitch!” Bill yells. He wasn’t going to let this clown kill someone else, not this time. Bill looks down at Dean as he punches the glass, and the terrified expression on the boys face makes him punch the glass harder. Bill wonders if it’s the same expression Georgie had on his face when he was attacked.

The glass cracks. It’s not much at first, just a splinter, but as Bill continues his assault it grows larger. On the other side, IT’s glass is cracked as well, just not as much as his. His heart swoops and all Bill can think is that he’s finally going to be able to save someone. He’s going to be able to help Dean and get him back to his family where he belongs, but right as he’s gearing his fist up for another punch to the cracked glass, IT stops to smile at him. Bill pauses, and that split lapse in judgement is all it takes for IT to break through his own wall.

The crushing guilt that descends upon him as the blood of the boy splatters against the glass in front of him is unlike anything he’s ever felt before. It’s different than his brothers death. He hadn’t had a chance at saving Georgie and now, when he’s actually had the chance to do something, he’s went and mucked it all up and gotten an innocent kid killed all because he was too slow... because he wasn’t strong enough.

Bill never was, was he? He wasn’t strong enough to save Georgie. He wasn’t strong enough to save Stan, and now he wasn’t strong enough to save Dean. How was Bill meant to defeat this clown, this literal alien when he couldn’t even do this? How was Bill supposed to go back to the townhouse and face his friends, the people who look up to him as their leader, knowing that he just got another person killed?

Bill doesn’t think he’ll be able to look them in the eyes after this. Not after Georgie, not after Stan, and now with Dean. He’s got too much blood on his hands, blood that wouldn’t be there if he hadn’t been such a fuck up.

IT is gone by the time Bill can finally pull his eyes away from the blood in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter over at [@devastator_t](https://mobile.twitter.com/devastator_t) if you want to talk about these losers 🥺


End file.
